MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS …

7

“When I got home that night as my wife served
dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got
something to tell you. She sat down and ate
quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth.
But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I
want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She
didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words,
instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry.
She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at
me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t
talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew
she wanted to find out what had happened to
our marriage. But I could hardly give her a
satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to
Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied
her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce
agreement which stated that she could own our
house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.
She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
The woman who had spent ten years of her life
with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for
her wasted time, resources and energy but I
could not take back what I had said for I loved
Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front
of me, which was what I had expected to see.
To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for
several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer
now.

The next day, I came back home very late and
found her writing something at the table. I
didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep
and fell asleep very fast because I was tired
after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke
up, she was still there at the table writing. I
just did not care so I turned over and was
asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce
conditions: she didn’t want anything from me,
but needed a month’s notice before the divorce.
She requested that in that one month we both
struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her
reasons were simple: our son had his exams in
a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt
him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had
something more, she asked me to recall how I
had carried her into out bridal room on our
wedding day. She requested that every day for
the month’s duration I carry her out of our
bedroom to the front door ever morning. I
thought she was going crazy. Just to make our
last days together bearable I accepted her odd
request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. .
She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd.
No matter what tricks she applies, she has to
face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact
since my divorce intention was explicitly
expressed. So when I carried her out on the
first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son
clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in
his arms. His words brought me a sense of
pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room,
then to the door, I walked over ten meters with
her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said
softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I
nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down
outside the door. She went to wait for the bus
to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more
easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell
the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long
time. I realized she was not young any more.
There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair
was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on
her. For a minute I wondered what I had done
to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a
sense of intimacy returning. This was the
woman who had given ten years of her life to
me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that
our sense of intimacy was growing again. I
didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to
carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the
everyday workout made me stronger.
She was choosing what to wear one morning.
She tried on quite a few dresses but could not
find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized
that she had grown so thin, that was the
reason why I could carry her more easily.
Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much
pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously
I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad,
it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his
father carrying his mother out had become an
essential part of his life. My wife gestured to
our son to come closer and hugged him tightly.
I turned my face away because I was afraid I
might change my mind at this last minute. I
then held her in my arms, walking from the
bedroom, through the sitting room, to the
hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly
and naturally.

I held her body tightly; it was just
like our wedding day.
But her much lighter weight made me sad. On
the last day, when I held her in my arms I could
hardly move a step. Our son had gone to
school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t
noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to
office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without
locking the door. I was afraid any delay would
make me change my mind…I walked upstairs.
Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry,
Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.
She looked at me, astonished, and then touched
my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I
moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I
said, I won’t divorce.

My marriage life was
boring probably because she and I didn’t value
the details of our lives, not because we didn’t
love each other anymore. Now I realize that
since I carried her into my home on our
wedding day I am supposed to hold her until
death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly
wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then
slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked
downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop
on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for
my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write
on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you
out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived home, flowers in my
hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only
to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had
been fighting CANCER for months and I was so
busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that
she would die soon and she wanted to save me
from the whatever negative reaction from our
son, in case we push through with the divorce.—
At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving
husband….

The small details of your lives are what really
matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion,
the car, property, the money in the bank. These
create an environment conducive for happiness
but cannot give happiness in themselves.
So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do
those little things for each other that build
intimacy. If you are not in a relationship now,
remember this for the second (or third) time
around. It’s never too late.

If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to
you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many
of life’s failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave
up.

CULLED FROM COUPLES AND CO BLOGSPOT

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